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News Unfit To Print Anywhere Else!

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BEAT IT! (b.s.) Neverland, CA - The verdict is in, the man is off the hook and he showed up at practice asking where were the boys in the band. Unfortunately, the King of pop, was disappointed to learn the "boys" are all either members or about ready to join AARP.

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(more b.s.) Charlotte, NC - She's out of jail and she's cookin' with the band. The great and wonderful Martha Stewart will be joining the UD in March as she finally leaves her temporary home in West Virginia. No more jokes about West Virgina. No more jokes about prison life. No more jokes about being a mean b____. "We'll have cookies, music and lots of love." The once incarcerated Stewart was heard to have said, "I really don't care that Jimmy Smitts is on West Wing, I've been in jail, darnit. I want to rock and freakin roll."
Ms. Stewart will be appearing with the UD in an upcomming sweep of blue states, but will appear fully clothed, unlike some other members of the band.

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